Down, boy! Down!

Recently I was meeting some friends at my neighborhood watering hole. I was the first to arrive and I settled in at the bar and ordered a glass of wine from the bartender. I have been coming to this bar for years (although I would in no way consider myself a regular) and I did not recognize this bartender. No big deal, he poured my drink promptly and that's what matters.

Shortly after my friend Erin shows up. She is a regular at the bar and was greeted as such, and had to work her way down the bar giving a personal hello to all the other regulars. She finally gets to me and settles in. We begin chatting and she orders a drink from the newbie bartender while greeting him by name: "Hey CJ, what's up?" He goes off to make the pour and she and I settle into conversation. CJ returns with the drink and Erin, the super-friendly gal that she is, introduces me to CJ. Having noticed my iPhone in hand, CJ seizes this opportunity to begin discussing iPhone apps. (Yawn, haven't we been through this with robotics?) I tell him I'm not a huge fan of the iPhone and it's really just a means of communication for me so I don't have "favorite" apps. Meanwhile, Erin is responding to some texts on her phone.

Although CJ asked me about my iPhone, I was getting a very distinct feeling that he was far more interested in me than he was in my apps.

Erin and I finally shake CJ and go back to our chit chatting...at which point Erin shows me the text she was responding to...from CJ...asking "Who is your friend?!?"

Oh great...

Erin had responded "That's my friend Marsha, she's awesome!" before she realized that CJ's interest may have been more than friendly. I think my facial expression when she showed me his text (which can be summed up as "Ewwwww") probably gave it away.

So the night progressed and our circle of friends grew, but I remained in my seat at the bar. I had turned in my seat so I could face those standing near me, but had left my water and glass of wine next to me on the bar so I could reach them when needed.

CJ, however, was clearly distressed by my ignoring [of him]. He interrupted me at one point when I was sending a text to ask, again, about my iPhone apps. He was appalled that I didn't have the "TMZ" app. I blew him off with "I'm really not into celebrity gossip." [A total lie.]

Later, and repeatedly, he would call to me over the bar "Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!" --which I could very well hear but chose to ignore-- until one of my friends would say "I think the bartender wants you." I would turn to the bar and there would be CJ asking:
"Do you need another drink?" [note full wine glass next to me]
"Would you like to order food?" [he knew we were waiting for a table for our group]
"Do you have this iPhone app?" [no explanation necessary]

Down boy, down! Am I wrong, or should bartenders be seen and not heard? He was like an overeager dog...and I had no interest in being his master.

Over all this time, CJ is texting Erin asking about me. She has relayed my disinterest in him....unfortunately a message that reached him but did not get THROUGH to him.

I left after 5 hours, paying for my entire dinner and the 3 glasses of wine and 1 beer I consumed. I was not comped anything.

As I exited the bar and was about to cross the street to my car I heard someone calling out "Marsha! Marsha! Bye!!!" I looked back and, of course, there's CJ. I offer a small wave and a weak "Oh, yeah, bye."

Well, it turns out he was talking to some girl as I left (I hadn't noticed) and he immediately texted Erin: "I hope Marsha doesn't think I have a girlfriend because I was talking to my friend Mary when she left!"

Ugh!!!

So now you can knock my local watering hole off of places to frequent, lest I accidentally encourage CJ's affection. Which is a real shame because they have a terrific Cobb Salad.