Robo-Date

Another Match.com date last night. His profile was interesting, his emails were humorous and not completely self-indulgent: i.e., he did not say "I have a boat and a jet ski and a borrowed race car, you will like me because of all that, right?" He's an engineer, but as previously discussed that's typical of Match. His pics indicated he was from a lower "caste" than yours truly, but hoping he was just unphotogenic I accepted the date. His looks weren't my biggest concern, I was hopeful that his wit and personality on email would translate to his in-person personality.

{side note: when i first typed "translate" above I did some spastic typing and translate came out as "strangler"...}

I knew from his profile that he's a casual guy: most of his pics were of him camping and drinking beer with other dudes. But for our first date he showed up in jeans, a t-shirt and a zip-up hoodie. Very casual indeed. No golf shirt, no button down, a t-shirt. And not a crisp pocket T...no, a worn in (and likely comfy) faded navy blue t-shirt, similar to the ones I occasionally wear to the gym or while scrubbing the bathtub at home. He either has serious 5 o'clock shadow or he hadn't shaved for a few days.

He was skinny: the kind of thin frame that an über nerd would have, compounded by his love of running and cycling. Bad hair: short, dark and wiry, no product used or any attempt to style his Super-Cuts $14.95 special. He wasn't totally unattractive, but certainly no heart-throb either. On the bright side he did have straight teeth.

The voices in my head were laughing and shouting at me "You should have trusted the photos. TRUST THE PHOTOS!!!"
Shut up, brain! He could be a really great guy.

Well, to summarize the 2 hour meet-and-greet session...he wasn't great. He was rather immature for a 36 year old. Everything was "Awesome!" Enthusiasm is good, but this had the feel of a conversation with a 10 year old. He dropped many F-bombs. Many. He referred to several people as "fags." Completely inappropriate when you don't know the person you are speaking with...and it just indicated to me he could not be left unattended in mixed company. [I have a policy against babysitting adults.]

The 10 year old personality manifested itself further when I asked about his work. As a software engineer he once worked at a robotics firm...and with great passion he described the practical implications of robots in military, health care and commercial use. Then he said "There's a video of the robot I built on YouTube, look it up on your iPhone!!!" So I looked up the video...and we watched the entire 3:26 segment as as he described his contributions to the project and the contributions of all the other nerds and fags. He also referred to a radar-blocking program he worked on for a military contract as "gay-dar blocking."

Dude...I don't even know you and you're comments are a bit offensive for us being strangers and in a crowded bar. There was no doubt in my mind: his wit and personality on email did not translate to his in-person personality. No, his in-person personality strangled any wit to death and was survived by off-color humor.

I managed to get out of there without spending any money or with any physical contact beside a handshake. Now I'm contemplating what to email to Robo-Date. My feeling is that his efforts are best spent constructing himself a Fem-bot with advanced gay-dar to keep the f-ing fags away....